Top 10 Life Coaching Skills

Learning these top 10 life coaching skills will save you from low self-esteem

15^th March 2021

“The Top 10 Life Coaching Skills” is an article designed to empower you with the skills used by exceptional coaches for self-coaching. These skills and techniques can enhance your self-awareness and development. Self-esteem pertains to your self-perception and self-worth. It’s crucial to value yourself, as this influences how others perceive you. Now, let’s examine the facts presented below.

Skill #1: Confidentiality Skills

Experts assert that maintaining confidentiality with life coaching clients is one of the most valuable skills for life coaches. But how can these skills be applied to self-coaching? Indeed, self-coaching is possible, and that’s likely why you’re reading this article. You’re eager to discover and utilize the top 10 life coaching skills, whether you’re a coach or someone seeking coaching.

Confidentiality is a skill that everyone needs, though not always. Just as positive events don’t always occur, confidence can fluctuate. However, the general consensus is that confidentiality is beneficial and should be embraced and utilized as much as possible.

As a life coach, maintaining confidentiality with your clients’ statements is crucial. Think of it as being a medical doctor in your own right. Medical professionals are expected not to disclose their clients’ private matters. Similarly, even if you were my spouse, your doctor would not share certain details about you unless absolutely necessary.

Likewise, life coaches and pastors should conduct themselves professionally. We are all human, and sometimes things may inadvertently be said. It’s often mentioned that about 95% of human conversation is gossip, which is even supported by my Bible. However, professionalism is key. The most effective way to be professional is to keep confidential matters exactly that—confidential. This means not sharing them with anyone, not even your spouse.

Related: Life Coaching Ultimate Guide

Skill #2: Objectivity Skills

There is a significant difference between objective and subjective thinking. To simplify, the individual you are conversing with is not the topic of discussion; rather, it is the situation they are presenting to you. Maintaining objectivity in counseling or life coaching is essential.

But how can you maintain this objectivity when you are reflecting and speaking to yourself? It’s interesting to note that you are essentially coaching yourself all the time. Indeed, this happens whether you are advising someone else or during your leisure time. In reality, our internal dialogue continues even while we sleep!

Skill #3: Supporting and Firm Skills

Life coaching is a complex skill that involves supporting clients’ ideas while also adhering to the facts, even if it means acknowledging that their perspective might be flawed. Our role is to back the client unconditionally, without imposing our own beliefs, yet not capitulating to theirs. Thoughts and words are actions in their respective realms, so we must bolster the client while standing firm on the factual aspects of their situation, which adds to the challenge of being a life coach.

When it comes to self-coaching, the same principles apply. You might believe that you are worthless, akin to feeling like ‘just that pig.’ However, while you might feel useless at times, it’s not a constant state, is it?

Skill #4: Knowing Yourself as a Life Coach

This seems self-explanatory, doesn’t it? To know oneself as a life coach means recognizing that you are also a human with beliefs, flaws, and issues that your client may share. You might be grappling with the same challenges as your client.

However, you must not disclose this, or you cease to be a coach. Honesty is crucial, but it should come at a point when you and your client have gained a deeper understanding of each other.

So, how do you apply these skills to self-coaching? Acknowledge that you are not perfect, just as no human is. This doesn’t mean we lack valid points; on the contrary, we understand that facing the truth is beneficial to us on a personal level.

Skill #5: Learning Willingly

Being open to learning, even from your clients, is crucial to becoming the best life coach you aspire to be. You don’t need to inform them that you are also being coached. However, it’s important to continually learn, including from other coaches.

Having a life coach or a spiritual leader to guide you is beneficial. For instance, I find inspiration in Jesus and biblical figures like Paul, drawing lessons from their lives.

Many read the Bible as a religious text due to tradition. Instead, try reading it as if it were a compelling work of fiction to gain new insights. It can serve as an excellent life coach.

The Bible conveys to me that I am significant to God, that I possess what I need, and that I am capable of achieving anything. These affirmations are powerful tools for self-discovery and professional development, regardless of one’s faith.

Focusing on understanding our abilities, possessions, and identities is key. We all have these attributes in various forms, and exploring them further means learning more about ourselves.

Skill #6: Never Become Judgmental

This isn’t a commandment to adhere to, right? No, it isn’t. That’s not the intention of the communicator here. However, the point should be clear. It’s another way of stating that we must remain objective rather than subjective when providing life coaching to our clients.

How can you apply these skills when coaching yourself? By remembering that you, too, are a person with mistakes and flaws, as all humans inherently are.

Cats behave according to their nature because they are cats. Dogs, doves, ravens, and all other animals have their unique lifestyles, just as we humans do. This means we shouldn’t be judgmental, even though it often seems to be the default.

Skill #7: Listening Skills

Number seven in the top ten life coaching skills is listening. Many expert life coaches emphasize the importance of having ‘big ears and small mouths,’ meaning we should listen more and talk less. In practice, this means letting the client speak while we listen. However, the challenge arises when we find ourselves talking internally or externally, as it’s natural to want to converse. The advice from experts is not to rush; we should listen attentively to our clients and only speak when they invite us to or when it’s the appropriate time to contribute. Applying these listening techniques to self-coaching involves speaking about the issue or oneself and then pausing to reflect before proposing any potential solutions.

Skill #8: It’s Not All Your Responsibility

In dealing with your client’s life, it’s not solely your responsibility to absorb all their pain and seek immediate relief. Your role is to steer the client toward a potential solution, allowing them to discover it on their own. You are a guide, not an imposer of solutions; otherwise, the client may feel patronized.

It’s important to empathize with the situation, yet not shoulder all the responsibility. Encourage the client to think, speak, and decide on their next steps independently. Let the clients take ownership, not you. Your task is to lead them to their own solutions.

As a coach, apply this to yourself by sometimes stepping back and letting life unfold. Pursue what your heart desires and observe what happens. This acknowledges that we’re not always in control, even of our own lives.

Skill #9: Flexibility

Flexibility in life is a skill derived from both innate tendencies and learned behavior. While not everyone possesses this skill naturally, it is possible for anyone to develop it. Flexibility prevents one from becoming entrenched in certain areas with clients, where the role is to guide rather than to enforce agreements.

This implies that while one must be empathetic towards the challenges others face, it is also necessary to adapt while remaining true to oneself. Being flexible does not equate to being indifferent or negligent; rather, it involves recognizing that not all situations have clear solutions.

Indeed, not every problem in life has a definitive resolution. This is exemplified by the inevitability of death, which, despite our wishes, remains a part of life.

Flexibility is intertwined with knowledge and an understanding of life’s complexities. Those who are flexible, often referred to as liberals, avoid becoming fixated on a single perspective, belief, teaching, doctrine, or practice. They acknowledge that approaches that work at one time may not be effective under different circumstances, for various reasons.

Skill #10: Visualization Skills

To keep dreaming means to remain thoughtful and proactive. This isn’t about daydreaming; rather, it’s about engaging your mind while listening to your client. As you anticipate your turn, continue to explore and learn. This approach to learning involves visualizing the world and various scenarios, allowing you to momentarily step out of your client’s perspective to gain a broader understanding of their situation.

By seeing beyond what your client communicates, you can guide them professionally without bias or excessive sympathy, which might otherwise lead you to become ensnared in their desperate thought patterns. Remember, you are the coach at this moment, despite facing your own personal challenges.

My Final Words

As we conclude this post on life coaching skills, consider what insights you can apply from the ten points discussed. Remember, knowledge only becomes power when it’s put into action. Napoleon Hill articulated this truth years ago, and it remains just as valid today. If you’ve found value in this post, feel free to share your thoughts in the comments. Should you have suggestions for improvement, please don’t hesitate to mention them. Wishing you safety and blessings during and beyond the pandemic. Peace!

FURTHER READINGS

• Life Coaching Skills Certification—Udemy
• What Is Life Coaching?—Skills You Need
• Coaching Podcast: The #1 Most Important Coaching Skill Is—JRNI