Understanding Family and Inter-Family Conflicts Is Key to Resolving It
7th February 2022
Family and Inter-Family Conflicts represent two types of disputes that occur within and between families in any society. A family, being a fundamental unit of society, may experience internal strife, known as intra-family conflict. Conversely, when disputes arise between two or more families, it is referred to as inter-family conflict. This article will explore both types of conflicts and suggest ways to resolve them.
What Is Family Conflict?
Conflict within a family, also known as intra-family conflict, involves members such as a husband, wife, children, and other relatives. This type of conflict is distinct from inter-family conflict and occurs within this fundamental societal unit.
A family, as a societal unit, consists of individuals and varies in size based on various factors. In South Sudan and across Africa, families can be extensive, often including a husband, wife, biological children, and relatives like parents, brothers, and cousins of the husband.
Family structures can vary significantly from one region to another. In Africa, the trend in urban areas is towards smaller family units due to economic considerations and other factors. However, in many African villages, traditional family life remains largely unchanged.
Related: Life Coaching Ultimate Guide
What Is an Inter-Family Conflict?
The term ‘inter-family conflict’ refers to disputes between two distinct families, which is different from the family conflict previously mentioned. It is synonymous with clan conflict, as families constitute clans, especially in Africa and specifically in South Sudan. Such conflicts may arise between families from the same clan or different clans.
As urbanization progresses in Africa, families from various tribes or even different nations may reside in close proximity within towns and cities. Consequently, inter-family conflicts can transcend clans and tribal boundaries. However, when the dispute involves two or more separate families, it qualifies as an inter-family conflict.
What Causes Both Family and Inter-Family Conflicts?
The roots of human conflict at any societal level are multifaceted. Nonetheless, this does not imply that the causes are entirely unknown. The primary cause of human conflict at any societal level is inherent in human nature. In today’s world, we still find individuals who embody both Abel and Cain archetypes coexisting.
This suggests that a single individual may instigate both familial and inter-familial conflicts simultaneously or at separate times. Moreover, a collective of individuals can incite conflicts within and beyond the family unit. While events and personal errors may also lead to conflicts, they are ultimately human mistakes stemming from our nature.
Personal traits and ambitions contribute to these conflicts. Issues of leadership extend beyond the national sphere to the familial one. Conflicts may arise from individuals within families or between entire family units. Regardless of the specifics, human fallibility and our propensity for error are invariably at the core.
How Do We Resolve Both Family and Inter-Family Conflicts?
Humans have various methods for both causing and resolving conflicts at all societal levels, including law enforcement and peace processes. Historically, Africa had its own conflict resolution methods, often involving the spiritual respect of those in conflict.
Today, Africa employs new and external methods for conflict management. These include the aforementioned law enforcement, as well as negotiation strategies to find resolutions within and between families. However, despite these modern approaches, conflicts within and among families persist.
Ideally, preventing conflicts from escalating would be the best solution, but this isn’t always feasible. As previously mentioned, humans and animals inherently tend to create conflicts. It’s acknowledged that where there are two individuals, some form of conflict is likely present.
Why Do We Need to Resolve Both Family and Inter-Family Conflicts?
The necessity to resolve human conflicts stems from the desire to sustain peace and harmony within a family and among related families. While humans cherish peace and harmony, we also have a natural propensity for causing trouble. Our affinity for peace compels us to seek resolutions when conflicts arise.
Resolving conflicts is inherent to our nature as humans; the instinct to find solutions to familial disputes both internal and external is innate. Despite knowing that resolved conflicts may re-emerge, we are driven to address them as thoroughly and swiftly as possible.
On a personal note, I prioritize resolving conflicts promptly. It’s important to acknowledge that I experience conflicts more often than one might assume, including both internal and external struggles. However, as a proponent of peace, I inherently despise conflict and favor peaceful coexistence among individuals.
If you are reading this, it’s likely that you too are an advocate for peace. You may detest all forms of conflict, yet find yourself repeatedly entangled in them. If so, then you possess a clear motive for consistently seeking peace and harmony. Undoubtedly, you have your own reasons for promoting peace within and beyond your family circle.
What Is the Importance of Resolving Family and Inter-Family Conflicts?
The significance of resolving family conflicts lies in the fact that not all humans enjoy conflict. Perhaps those akin to Cain relish hate speech, insults, deceit, and frequently causing harm to others. However, disliking these actions does not make us saints by our own merit.
This implies that we may err unintentionally. There’s a vast difference between taking pleasure in harming others and doing so inadvertently. When I cause you pain unintentionally, I readily acknowledge my fault, leaving you the choice to forgive or not. But intentional harm is an entirely different matter, marking the distinction between Abel-like and Cain-like individuals. It appears certain natures or spirits compel people to inflict pain on other beings, including humans.
Understanding the value of living in peace and harmony with oneself and others underscores the importance of resolving conflicts within and beyond one’s biological family. Whether you were born into or adopted by your family is irrelevant; what matters is how you treat others to foster peace and harmony. As mentioned before, for me, peace is innate. It’s not an aspiration but the essence of my existence, flowing through my veins and present in every aspect of my being. My nature is to love and pursue personal peace, which sometimes means steering clear of troublesome humans and animals.
This disposition prompts me to smile at the sight of innocent children, humans, or animals. It leads me to appreciate nature—the plants, birds, fish, animals, insects, reptiles, and even worms. While some creatures may frighten me, I recognize them as fellow beings. This awareness is not derived from any religious doctrine but is an intrinsic part of my humanity, shared by many others who think and act as I do.
My Final Words
As we reach the conclusion of this article, I’d like to offer some final words of wisdom and advice. You’re likely familiar with conflicts at various levels within human societies. The focus here has been on conflicts both within and external to the family. My guidance is that no universal rules guarantee success; we create laws and sometimes break them. Live life on your terms, and you’ll be alright. Avoid conflict if it displeases you, and if you cherish peace, strive for it and pursue inner peace always.
We humans are diverse; some of us may gravitate towards violence, and for them, that’s acceptable. Concentrate on what brings joy to your heart and engage in activities that make life enjoyable. Life is short and can be meaningful, depending on our perspective. Religious beliefs are not a prerequisite for such a realization. The afterlife remains a mystery, but the present is ours to live. So, let’s live for today and let tomorrow take care of itself.
I trust this article has been beneficial to you. Feel free to share your reflections. Your thoughts are welcome in the comment section below. I pray and trust that God will safeguard you during and beyond the global pandemic, according to His plan for you. Shalom!
Further Readings
- Factors Influencing Intra Family Conflicts (PDF)—UON.
- The 8 Keys to Resolving Family Conflict—Mediate.
- Intra-Family Conflict—IRDP.