Understanding Personal and Interpersonal Conflicts Is Key to Resolving Them
7th March 2022
Personal and Interpersonal Conflicts aims to elucidate the nature of these conflicts, their origins, reasons for their occurrence, the necessity of resolving them, and the significance of addressing such conflicts at different levels. It examines both personal and interpersonal conflicts from various perspectives.
What Is a Personal Conflict?
Just as personal peace exists, so does personal conflict. This type of conflict occurs within an individual, a battle between oneself. It’s not a conflict between you and another, but within you alone.
Although I wish for us to avoid conflict, it remains an inevitable part of life. You may struggle to embrace some of the concepts presented here, potentially leading to disagreement and conflict. Nonetheless, it’s presumed you now comprehend the nature of personal conflict.
You may have been aware of this before reading this text, and that is acknowledged. However, personal conflict is as intricate as any conflict at any societal level. It is the foundation of personal peace and reconciliation. Without conflict, there would be no need for resolution.
Further in this post, we will explore the various causes of personal conflict. But for now, our focus is to understand what this level of conflict means in our society. It’s common knowledge that society consists of individuals who form families, clans, tribes, and broader societies.
Therefore, it’s crucial to thoroughly examine personal conflict to grasp its significance, as it can escalate to higher levels of conflict if not addressed.
Also known as intrapersonal conflict, this is what I refer to as personal inner conflict, which stands in contrast to interpersonal conflict, which will be discussed subsequently.
Related: Life Coaching Ultimate Guide
What Is an Interpersonal Conflict?
Just as there is interpersonal peace, there is also interpersonal conflict. This type of conflict occurs between two individuals, whether it’s between you and me, you and God, or you and other beings, and is known as external conflict. It represents a broader level of conflict throughout human and animal history.
Indeed, animals experience conflicts among themselves, just as humans do. When we encounter conflicts with God, other people, or other creatures, it is referred to as interpersonal conflict. This can occur within a family, between families, clans, and tribes, or even escalate to national or international levels.
Therefore, any conflict that exists outside of oneself is considered interpersonal or external, distinguishing it from internal or personal conflict.
As mentioned earlier, such conflicts are prevalent in every human community or society and have various causes and potential solutions.
What Causes Personal and Interpersonal Conflicts?
Numerous factors contribute to human conflict, but one element often overlooked is our inherent nature. It’s our humanity that frequently leads to discord among us. Human nature plays a significant role in instigating conflicts, suggesting that some individuals may favor conflict over peace and harmony.
Indeed, in every generation and nation, there are those akin to the biblical Cain, who derive pleasure from conflict for their own reasons. They find joy in causing harm, whether to an individual or a group, and unlike most who hurt others unintentionally, these individuals do so with intent.
Commonly recognized causes of interpersonal or external conflict include personal greed and desires, leading to the misconception that resource competition is the primary source of societal conflicts. This notion arises from our propensity to contest ownership of anything, including relationships.
Consider that young men might fight to the death over a romantic partner, a phenomenon not exclusive to humans but observed in the animal kingdom as well. This type of rivalry is indeed a cause of interpersonal conflict and likely will continue to be so.
While some may argue that cultural differences, varied experiences, and knowledge are the main instigators of interpersonal conflict, it is, in fact, our human nature that lies at the heart of discord at any societal level.
The tendency to belittle or disdain others stems from this nature. Some may deny this reality by claiming that born-again Christians have transcended their human nature, but is this assertion valid?
How Do We Resolve Personal and Interpersonal Conflicts?
Humans have various methods for resolving conflicts. As many individuals can instigate conflicts, there are equally as many who can reduce them to nothing. These individuals in our societies are the catalysts for peace and conflict resolution, known as peacemakers, and are revered for their role in fostering harmony.
Well before the advent of Christianity and Islam in Africa, indigenous methods were in place to address conflicts. These methods ranged from supernatural interventions to the exertion of force by elders or community leaders, including kings and chiefs. African societies were organized into chiefdoms and kingdoms long before foreign powers arrived.
In those times, if two individuals were inclined to fight, they were permitted to do so with less dangerous implements. This approach allowed conflicts to be resolved through combat rather than suppression, leading to a deeper understanding between the adversaries post-conflict.
Combatants might use sticks or their bare hands, with onlookers present to prevent any serious harm. Supernaturally, serious conflicts were addressed by cursing the instigators, a feared practice due to the believed severe and lasting repercussions. The fear of demons and evil spirits was more prevalent before the spread of Christianity and Islam than it is today.
Why Do We Resolve Personal and Interpersonal Conflicts?
Peace and harmony stand as the primary reasons for resolving conflicts at any level within human society, signifying that we have one or multiple compelling reasons to end disputes. However, we have yet to achieve success in ending conflicts globally, with even the United Nations continuing to grapple with wars on earth.
I hold the view that peace should be prioritized in conflict resolution efforts because it is the fundamental goal of such endeavors. If peace is paramount to us all, which it undoubtedly is or ought to be, then resolving conflicts is equally critical.
My affinity for peace is why I’ve adopted the name Shalom, symbolizing peace coupled with prosperity, for true peace invariably leads to prosperity, just as conflict inversely results in decline. Here, prosperity implies the ability to yield results in our endeavors.
In the absence of peace, our efforts are jeopardized, highlighting that conflict bears severe real-life repercussions, including the loss of lives and property. The devastation wrought upon some of our larger cities during the brief conflict in South Sudan serves as a testament, where we saw years of development obliterated in mere months, illustrating the severe and perilous nature of war.
Owing to the costly and destructive nature of conflict, there is an ever-present need to seek resolutions. This underscores the significance of conflict resolution, which we will explore further.
Indeed, there are numerous reasons to pursue both personal and interpersonal solutions to conflicts.
What Is the Importance of Conflict Resolution?
Indeed, if peace is crucial at any level of human society, so is conflict resolution. This is why I always concentrate on the individual level for resolving conflicts. You can only control your own thoughts and actions, not those of others.
By managing your thoughts, words, and actions, you can achieve peace. You can find peace within yourself, with God, with other humans, and even with other creatures.
Peace is my emblem; it’s part of my nature, and both humans and animals recognize it. However, those who favor violence may see this as cowardice. I strive to avoid such individuals and animals, which sometimes may lead to conflict rather than peace.
Sharing these personal traits, I aim to highlight the significance of personal peace and harmony. Maintaining peace at any level is costly, but personal peace is crucial. It’s vital to find and sustain interpersonal peace, starting from within. Discovering our inner peace can inspire us to assist others in finding and maintaining their peace.
Do you see now the importance of having your own personal peace? It’s essential because it leads to family peace, which is interpersonal peace. I believe this is one of the primary reasons to pursue peace and harmony at the family level. Hence, conflict resolution is vital for both personal and interpersonal conflicts.
My Final Words
Thank you for reading this article to the end. I trust you’ve absorbed every word. It’s gratifying when my work is read thoroughly. However, before you depart, I’d like to leave you with some parting wisdom and advice.
In all our discussions, the necessity for balance stands out. If you cherish peace, remember not everyone shares your disposition. Some individuals may harbor a nature akin to Cain, capable of inflicting harm if you don’t conform to their ways. They may desire you to embrace violence and inflict pain on others to gain their favor. But that’s not who you are, is it?
Stand firm against the tide of violence and suffering. Cultivate and preserve your personal peace; that is within your power.
Moreover, you play a vital role in fostering peace at every societal level, be it within your family, clan, or tribe. Begin by securing and sustaining your own inner peace. This tranquility is what you’ll extend to those around you, and ultimately, to the world at large.
I hope you’ve found value in this article. Feel free to share your reflections in the comments section below; your feedback is highly valued and will inform my future work. I also extend my best wishes to you and your loved ones, now and in the post-pandemic world.
Further Readings
- How to Handle Interpersonal Conflict Like a Pro—Healthline.
- Dealing With Interpersonal Conflict At Work—Career Guide.
- The Best Strategies to Resolve Your Personal Conflicts—Universal Class.