Learning simple techniques on overcoming anger for personal anger management
15th February 2021
“Overcoming Anger” is an article designed to assist you in enhancing your self-awareness through simple, actionable steps. This article will guide you on how to manage your anger, whether it’s directed at yourself or others. With that introduction, let’s begin.
WHAT IS ANGER?
Anger is a natural and normal emotion experienced by all animals at some point. However, when anger becomes problematic, we must address it. But how? This article aims to explore that question.
Overcoming anger is challenging but achievable. While preventing it is impractical, as we coexist with others, finding ways to manage or control it is possible, which is the focus of this article.
Much has been said and written on this subject, yet I believe something remains unaddressed, prompting the creation of this article. The methods I’ve employed here may be unconventional and scarce, but they promise significant results when applied properly.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH ANGER?
Anger is only detrimental when it becomes excessive or abnormal. As the saying goes, “too much of anything is not good.” Indeed, when anger turns into something uncontrollable, it becomes a problem that needs to be addressed, and reaching that extreme in anger is inadvisable.
Often, anger arises unexpectedly, making it challenging to maintain at a manageable level. Before we realize it, we have reached the height of anger. In essence, anger is problematic when it escapes our control, thereby dominating us instead of being managed by us.
Related: Life Coaching Category
HOW CAN YOU OVERCOME ANGER?
Here are some strategies to help you manage anger before it controls you. The initial tips are from various experts, which I will present before sharing my own experiences. As mentioned earlier, although managing anger can be challenging, it is definitely achievable. Every individual has unique methods for handling anger.
Understand anger
One of the initial strategies to overcome anger is to comprehend it. By fully understanding anger, you are more inclined to ignore or avoid it. Recognize that anger is a natural response not only in humans but also in other animals, including birds, fish, reptiles, and insects.
Relaxing
Another approach is to relax before proceeding further. This involves doing something physically different rather than reacting negatively towards the person or situation causing anger. Experts recommend taking a deep breath at this point to calm your entire body.
Individuals can find various personal ways to relax, which may vary from one person to another. The method I use to relax might not be universally applicable, but the key concept is to find relaxation.
Professionals also suggest speaking soothing words to oneself slowly or engaging in yoga exercises to ease the mind and relax the body. This is another method to manage anger that I have not personally tried, but is recommended by some experts.
Changing your mind
While I don’t think any of us can truly change our minds, this is a technique some people use to overcome anger. They manage to convince themselves to think differently in the moment, changing the subject in their minds, and for some, this approach is effective.
Better communication
Some people think that anger can prevent individuals from communicating factually. To counter this, one technique is to calm down, which can lead to improved communication. Effective communication is impossible without active listening, so it’s important to listen attentively when the other person is expressing their grievances.
Solve the problem
This technique is considered the most challenging because if you manage to solve it, anger becomes irrelevant. Generally, anger doesn’t arise without cause. Our culture advocates for resilience, which isn’t always practical. We’re often told every problem has a solution, yet that’s not always true. What do you do when a solution eludes you?
This dilemma leads to finding your own method of resolution, which may diverge from others’ advice or expectations, as what works for one may not suit another. Finding tranquility amidst turmoil could be the key to resolving issues.
There are numerous strategies to mitigate anger, and these are just a few that some find effective. Personally, I’m not inclined towards these methods for reasons of my own.
Following are the techniques that consistently work for me.
HOW DO I OVERCOME ANGER?
Now it’s my turn. I tend to get angry quite quickly, more so than you might assume, whether you’re familiar with my work or know me beyond this digital platform. However, I have developed methods to manage my anger. Here are some personal tips and tricks, although I’m not certain they will be effective for you on a personal level.
Avoiding Anger
The old adage “prevention is better than cure” resonates with me, particularly when it comes to managing anger. Once anger takes hold, it often escalates quickly before we realize it’s happening.
Therefore, the most effective strategy is to prevent anger altogether. However, this approach might not be suitable for everyone, given our unique dispositions.
To keep anger at bay, I make a conscious effort to listen more than I speak, especially in group settings. This aligns with my introverted tendencies. By being mindful of our words, we can reduce the frequency of anger, provided we have the discipline to do so.
Quick Repentance
Even when I am certain of my correctness, I choose peace and promptly apologize if I sense someone’s annoyance due to my actions or words. Experience has taught me that we reap what we sow. Insisting on being right only leads to mutual defensiveness and endless conflict.
This approach is deeply personal, which is why I identify with the name ‘Shalom.’ I’ve long realized that valuing peace and harmony above my own interests is beneficial for both myself and those around me. It may be the most challenging method to manage anger, but it has worked wonders for me.
Withdrawal
If I cannot prevent it or if the other person does not accept my sincere apologies, my last resort for managing anger is to withdraw. I distance myself from the person or situation for a while to cool down before I become too upset.
For instance, if I am upset with my wife, I might take a walk in nature or simply stay out of her sight for some time. This approach may not always be beneficial for her because withdrawal can be particularly hurtful to women, but it is my method for calming down.
It is natural and positive that women and girls are emotional rather than purely rational (I have recently realized that some men are as emotional as women, so it is not a matter of gender but of personality). A woman who does not possess these qualities may struggle to connect with a man, her husband, potentially leading to significant marital problems.
In my region, employing the withdrawal technique is often viewed as cowardice. However, I have utilized it since childhood. The issue with this approach is the general lack of understanding. Withdrawing from someone does not signify fear; it indicates a desire to avoid escalating anger to a boiling point. We are advised to manage our anger promptly, and distancing oneself from the source of irritation is the most effective method.
YOU HAVE A PERSONAL CHOICE
I’ve shared various techniques that others and I use to prevent or manage anger. However, as an individual, you possess unique methods of thinking, speaking, and addressing issues like anger. By now, you’ve understood what anger entails and the appropriate times to address it. I’ve presented my perspective on the positives and negatives of the subject. Now, it’s your opportunity to assess my writings and express your opinions. You might concur with certain aspects and differ on others. Regardless, you are in control of your own thoughts and actions.
MY FINAL WORDS
I always strive to be open-minded, which is why I value your input on everything I share. My parting advice is to explore various methods for managing anger in your life. Once you discover an effective strategy, adhere to it as much as possible.
I trust this article has been beneficial to you. If it has, please feel free to share it with others via the social sharing buttons provided. Your comments are welcome; they will help me improve future articles. May God bless you abundantly and protect you during and beyond the global pandemic. Let’s stay connected on WhatsApp; you can reach out to me using the button below. Shalom!